A little Prayer?
Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
Half Full or Half Empty?
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
During the heat of the space race in the 1960’s, NASA quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million. The pen worked in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.
The Soviet Union, when faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
The Difference Between Dogs And Cats
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me…THEY MUST BE GODS!!!!!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me….I MUST BE A GOD.